A creature, about ten feet tall, stalked down the alley in its stilt-long legs towards her. It was humanoid in shape and dripping with black slime, bones sticking out of and horizontally across its body. Long arms swung at its sides with large black hands attached to them. The only part of it recognisable was its head, which belonged to Johnson, only that his skin had darkened to the colour of ink.
It stopped in front of Clarisa, and addressed her in what sounded like a mechanical alteration of Johnson's voice,
At last. We put our best and brightest perceiver to the test.
So this is what Johnson had been aiming for? Clarisa thought to herself in disbelief. She glared at the hideous manifestation defiantly, and in blind boldness she asserted,
“My mere touch can destroy you.”
How sure can you be about that? the creature challenged.
Try me.
Clarisa stepped forward and reached out her arm, but before she could extend it fully, the creature's hand caught her wrist in a vice-like grip.
You overestimate yourself, Clarisa, the voice mocked, and the grip tightened.
I am a manifestation of the combined fear and darkness of all the perceivers in your department. Your powers are useless against me.
Clarisa winced as she felt her veins being compressed. She was not mentally prepared to confront a manifestation that defied the usual nature of Darkness. The problem now was that she had no catalyst, and nothing in the alley looked feasible as a weapon against such a large creature. Still, she told herself not to panic.
The others overestimate you as well. But I know your weakness, as I know everyone’s weaknesses.
The creature flung his other arm violently, shaking sticky black slime off of itself. The liquid splattered all over the alley, some onto the other screaming perceivers, some onto Clarisa’s face and clothes.
Today I will teach you a lesson, it continued, The lesson is simple for others, but strangely so difficult for you. That is why I am going to make it easier for your understanding.
“I have learned many lessons,” Clarisa talked back, “They have all taught me well, and they all say that the Darkness can be defeated.”
The creature laughed. This proves that you have no clue what the lesson is. It is to give in to fear and remorse, and to let your inner darkness shine.
“You know that I will never do that,” Clarisa said firmly. The ten foot tall creature bent slowly down, so that Johnson's face was now level with hers.
I will now ask you a simple question, Clarisa. Answer me truthfully, his lips mouthed to her.
Do you have hope that the Darkness can be defeated?
What kind of question was this?
“Of course,” she answered.
A long, sharp bone shot out of the creature's torso and straight into one perceiver’s chest, pinning him to the brick wall. Crimson red blood welled from the hole in his shirt, and his head nodded downward lifelessly. The other perceivers shrieked in horror, and Clarisa's jaw dropped.
Now do you understand the game we are playing? Johnson's face smiled. I am going to ask you another time. Answer me truthfully, do you have hope that the Darkness can be defeated?
She understood the game: having to choose between her beliefs and her friends’ lives. She had chosen the former, but the creature had not fallen. That confirmed that there was no way to defeat it without a catalyst, and she could not look for one with the creature clinging so tightly to her wrist. She struggled to free herself but the creature only squeezed tighter.
We could wait here all day, Clarisa. All I want is an answer. Yes or no?
She stopped pulling and looked over her shoulder at her friends. They were all shaking in their restraints, some of them crying. In a quivering voice she whispered,
“Yes...”
Another bone flew out from its body, directly at Jonas’ head. His face was distorted upon impact and blood poured out from the point of impalement. More screams filled the air, and a sob wrecked Clarisa's body.
You could always say no, the creature persuaded. Just say no, and your friends live, while you join Johnson on the Darkness’ side. I can assure you that life is much easier there, and you will make an interesting new manifestation. Your dear friend Kit is there waiting for you, and I’m sure he misses you as much as you miss him. So let me ask you again, do you still have hope?
The long unheard name of her companion was now imprinted in her mind. Her suspicions about his fate had been right all along. Clarisa fell to her knees, no longer having the strength to stand upright. It was a dead end; there was clearly no way for her to win. Not yet, she corrected herself, and she realised that she had just answered the creature’s question. She still had hope, and somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that her present situation was no different from assignment 2847. So why couldn't she bear it this time? As Clarisa dissolved in a fit of tears, the grip on her wrist tightened further, and she could not feel her fingers anymore.
“I…” she managed before her speech faltered again. The nerves to her entire right hand were cut off, but she ignored the numbness to take some time to compose herself. Only when she was ready, she choked,
“I still have hope.”
Immediately, the sharpest, horizontal bone sailed through the air, towards the thin man crouched in the darkest corner, the very man she had been praying wouldn't be the next fatality. The bone acted as a guillotine, and the decapitated head was on the ground before she could blink an eye.
Have you not yet learned your lesson? the head tilted from side to side tauntingly. I’m growing tired of this, and I'm sure you are as well. I will ask you one last time, and your answer will determine if the rest of these people live or die. Do you still have hope that the Darkness can be defeated?
The howls of the other perceivers’ were drowned out by her own uncontrollable sobbing. Her eyes were blinded and her voice hoarse. Absolutely, she had lost all hope in defeating this particular creature. But defeating the Darkness in general? She wasn't sure, and where there was uncertainty there was hope. What she never predicted was to feel- for once- shadowed by the light. She had lost Jonas and Leo. Why keep at this when the result was always the same? She hated Kit for instilling such strong convictions in her, for they were now stronger than she would have liked. Voluntarily slaughtering the rest of the perceivers required a sound explanation, and she presented it in between gasps,
“I still have hope, because it’s something that will always be there. It’s a feeling that all people are capable of experiencing. You can kill all the perceivers, destroy this entire organisation, but hope will never die, just as the Darkness will never die. It's an ongoing war that has no end, and killing all of my friends won't change that.”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she broke down again and closed her eyes, not wanting to witness the death of the rest of the perceivers. What she least expected was for her wrist to be abruptly released. It dropped to her lap and she rubbed it with her other hand to allow for blood circulation, then swallowed her tears and opened her eyes. The ghastly creature that had towered over her was gone without a trace.
She turned around to see her colleagues picking themselves up from the ground, the ropes that had bound them no longer there. The three who had been brutally murdered were safe and sound, without a tear in their skin or clothes. They were all looking at her in awe, calling her name and shooting her questions of concern. Had everything just been a projection?
A strangled cry rose up her throat, and she was about to fall when Jonas caught her in his arms. He patted her hard on the back as she wept, effectively restoring some of her strength. She squeezed him as tightly as she could before letting go to catch her breath. Standing behind him was Leo, his face flushed and his eyes watery. Without a second thought, they motioned towards each other and he held her in his embrace; it was not big and warm like Jonas’, but gentle, lingering...
Endearing.
Secretly, she didn't want it to end.
Kathryn flew towards her next, and she made a conscious effort to soften her crying before receiving her. She needed to be strong for her, no matter what the circumstance. She let her sob into her chest as she smoothed her thick, coppery brown hair, relieved and grateful that she still felt for her after their conflict. She did not know when they let go of each other, only that she was eventually alone on the cold hard ground, whimpering to herself and oblivious to the others. She no longer heard or saw them around her, and with every teardrop the world seemed to fade out a little more, until it was going, going, gone.
* * *
It was her turn to open her eyes to the plain white ceiling of sickbay. She carefully moved parts of her body to test for injuries, but none of them hurt in the slightest. She was, however, still very disoriented. Her gaze shifted to the left and to her pleasant surprise, Leo was looking back at her. From his tired eyes she could tell that he had been sitting vigil by her bedside all night, but they livened up when he noticed that she had awoken. Seeing her confusion, he explained,
“You passed out. That alley was only a projection created by the Darkness. We brought you here about…” he checked his watch.
“Four hours ago.”
Graphic scenes played back in her mind, and as she recalled the manifestation with its slimy texture and knife-edged bones, panic struck her.
“What happened to that… that creature?” she stammered.
“I've heard some of their theories,” Leo answered, and Clarisa noticed that the look of concern from before had not yet left his face. “They all came to the conclusion that you defeated it.”
Clarisa wanted to ask how, but the answer worked its way to her. Her throat tightened as tears filled her eyes once more. She wanted to tell him how her heart shattered every time she said yes, how close she was to falling off the edge when she saw him broken in two. But she was unable to speak, and her tears conveyed all this to him by spilling over. Leo wanted badly to comfort her, but did not know any comforting words. So instead, he touched her hand and gently smoothed its delicate fingers with his thumb. He was initially nervous about her reaction, but her eyes were fixed upon the ceiling, and he presumed that her silence meant either consent or appreciation for the gesture. After a minute Clarisa whispered,
“It almost wasn't worth it.”
Leo frowned as he tried to convince her, “If you had chosen otherwise, it would have killed us all, and I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I'd say it really… put you to the test.”
Clarisa closed her eyes as the thought of Leo’s absence overwhelmed her.
“You were very brave,” he added softly. “Nobody could have survived in your position. You've defeated it, and I'm here. It's going to be alright."
More tears. Her heart melted at his words, but oh, she wasn't sure, she wasn't sure...
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