The cafeteria was packed with perceivers, and it was the classic case of asking ‘Is this seat taken?’ to the right people and hoping you wouldn't have to dine in the bathroom. They combed the place with trays in their hands, and Leo muttered something to the effect of, “This place is still crowded with a dwindling department size.” Clarisa was just glad he was back to his usual sarcastic self again. They were about to consider teleporting someplace else for lunch when a voice called from behind them,
“Hey you guys! Care to join us?”
Seated at a round table were Trevis, Olivia and Sarah, and next to them were two empty seats. Leo and Clarisa were hardly friends with them, and Olivia was a gossip Leo had caught the other day. He dissuaded telepathically,
[They're up to something.]
In spite of the warning, Clarisa put her tray down on the table and thanked them. Leo took the seat beside her unwillingly and thought to himself that his friend was too polite for her own good.
Sarah frowned at her sausage and sent privately to Trevis, [Leo's here. You sure about this?]
[We'll let him make whatever noise he wants to.]
They tucked into their food, and with his mouth full of vegetables Trevis initiated,
“Clarisa, I'm curious. If not for the money, why would you want to work here?”
Leo groaned internally on Clarisa's behalf. People had asked her that question so many times.
“Well I think that the work is meaningful, and it's something I would have done regardless of an organisation,” Clarisa answered plainly.
“I see,” Trevis nodded as he bit into a stick of celery, “But I'm not like that. Most of us aren't.”
“I know,” she said understandingly.
“Some of us are just in desperate need for money, because if we’re all given the boot there's nowhere else to go,” Trevis continued, a shade of despair under his eyes. “I mean, I got the job before I even graduated high school. What am I gonna do? And then there's Sarah.”
Sarah shifted her meatballs with her fork. “Three kids at home, my daughter has iron-deficiency anemia, and we visit the hospital a few times a month. My eldest son wants to start a music career, but I told him we're not gonna do that anytime soon, not with my husband still looking for a job and with mine this unstable. Heck, with all of our lives this unstable. I don't even know if I’ll still be here tomorrow.”
Olivia lowered her head, put down her utensils and folded her arms. Everyone else stared at her, and Trevis explained,
“Her friend Rachel just left eighteen hours ago. She's not taking it very well.”
“I'm sorry,” Clarisa said automatically.
Rachel was the other gossip. Leo more or less understood the three perceivers’ intentions, and piped up,
“What point are you trying to make?”
Olivia's nostrils flared, and she turned to Clarisa. “You love this job so much, it doesn't make any difference to you, does it?”
“What doesn't?”
“Working in New York or working in London,” she said coldly. “It's all the same to you, isn't it? Even losing this job wouldn't make the slightest difference to you.”
“The committee hasn't made any decision,” Leo said firmly. “And even when they do, Clarisa has the right to choose.”
“What does she have to lose?” Olivia’s voice ascended to a murderous falsetto. “We’ve heard that the loan can last us for one more year at least! In that span of time we could apply for new jobs, feed the hungry mouths at home for another twelve months!”
“We don't know if it's worth it,” Leo defended.
“Don't you depend on the funds too?” Trevis addressed him. “Why aren't you on our side?”
“This isn't about taking sides,” Leo put down his spoon, “And it's not our decision to make.”
“It is hers,” Sarah eyed Clarisa. “Why haven't you told the CEO that you don't care what branch you work in?”
“Because it wouldn't be solving the problem,” Clarisa replied calmly. “We’ll be back to square one in a year, and I believe there's a bigger issue in this department that a loan can't help resolve.”
“That's the objective point of view, and that's easy for you to say when you're not dying,” Trevis interjected. “We need money now, period. You're a counsellor, you know how morale works. We could all use some of it right now. Do you not care for us at all?”
“Caring for you now wouldn't be caring for you in the future.”
“At the rate we’re going we have no future!” Olivia raised her voice, loud enough for the surrounding tables to hear. She disregarded them and continued, “For the last time, we need the loan, not you. We don't care how ‘useful’ you are to this department. Ask anyone. We've all made up our minds.”
“Besides, we don't trust you,” Sarah added. “We’ve been told that Antonna's death was partially your fault. You were the first to hear her distress signal, and you didn't help her.”
“That's enough,” Leo ordered as he rose from his seat. Telepathically he and Clarisa agreed on a location and they teleported there. They appeared in an artificial garden on the top floor of the building that the perceivers rarely visited. It was pretty, for an artificial garden. Clarisa caressed a flower petal with her finger as though it were a real one, then frowned when it didn't bring her the same effect.
“How do you deal with this sort of pressure?” Leo sympathised.
“You stick to what you believe in,” she said serenely.
“And you believe in weighing all the factors, thinking through the consequences, and making a wise, informed decision?”
Clarisa smiled at his analysis of her methods. “Most of the time, yes.”
“Then what do you believe in now?”
Clarisa sat down on one of the lonely stone benches and sighed. Her mood was a mixture of tranquility and weariness, and Leo tried hard to understand it.
“Sometimes, you just have to go with the flow.” she said softly. “If the committee wants me in London, I'll work in London. If they want me to stay, I'll stay. Because sometimes a choice makes no difference to the real problem.”
“So just, let nature take its course?”
“You could say that,” Clarisa said as her eyes fell to the floor. Leo could now tell that something was bothering her and he didn't hesitate to ask her about it.
“Are you thinking about Antonna?”
Clarisa nodded. After a wistful silence she recounted, “I don't know if it’s true that I was the first, but I heard her calling for fifteen minutes straight. I was in a situation I couldn't walk away from at the time.”
“I heard her calling for what felt like half an hour, and I was stuck in the bathroom for reasons you don't want to know,” Leo shared, hoping to alleviate some of her guilt.
“You often say that I'm too polite for my own good,” Clarisa remarked. She wasn't trying to prove a point, it was simply a statement. But Leo saw it as one of regret, and told her sincerely,
“Please don't change who you are because of it.”
Her remorse was unaffected, but somehow what he said made her feel better. She looked up at him again and changed the subject,
“Leo, it just came to my mind that-”
“We haven't had any lunch?”
“No,” she let out a laugh, then was in an instant serious again, “We haven't considered the possibility that Francis made a deal with the Darkness.”
Leo's eyebrows shot up.
“How?”
“We don't know where he is, we can't contact him...”
“The Darkness cloaked him!” Leo realised. “Why hasn't anyone thought of that?”
“It hid him in return for withdrawing the funds,” Clarisa theorised. “But that doesn't explain a lot that's happening in our department, like sabotage.”
“It can't all just be a product of fund depletion, can it?” Leo asked rhetorically.
“Which reminds me, Leo,” Clarisa changed the topic again, “Why are you with me?”
“With you?”
“You need the funds. Why are you so neutral about my decision? Or lack thereof?”
Leo knew there was more than one answer, but offered only one,
“Because what you said made sense. There's no use helping us now and ditching us later. And besides it's your life.”
Clarisa knew as well that there was more than one answer, but she took the one offered.
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