Having finished her chores, Kathryn plopped onto her bed to do the homework Clarisa had assigned her: Reflect. Looking back, the past month had been a wild ride for her. To think that if Clarisa hadn't met her, she would still be wallowing in emptiness and self-hatred, watching the days crawl so quickly by, looking forward to nothing. It wasn't just her supernatural abilities that altered her outlook on life, but her potential to be something more, to move forward to a new reality and leave the past behind.
Had she recovered completely? Not even close. The dark clouds still resided on her living room ceiling; she could see them clearly now. No matter what she thought or felt, they remained there obstinately, refusing to leave her. But as Clarisa had mentioned, recovery was a gradual process, and she had to be patient with herself. With her initial depression at the start and recovery at the end, where on the road would she place herself now? Somewhere in the middle, she decided, where the path was most turbulent. She pictured it as a hill, and she was standing right at its peak, the point where falling to either side was equally probable. In dreams and waking hours alike, depression called to her, persuading her to return to the comforts of sorrow, and let her insecurities secure the door to progress. All she had to do was let go and let herself fall into its arms, and allow it to govern her life. She would have listened to its calls if the other side hadn't been equally enticing. She imagined a life where she was free, where she could appreciate food and flowers and friends like she once did, a long time ago. Depression had numbed her for eight years too many, and she was curious to know what it was like to feel again, to breathe again, to live again. Just a month ago she’d never have thought that curiosity was something she'd be able to reexperience. And she had to thank Clarisa for that.
Clarisa. She didn't even know her last name. She had no idea what to think of her when she first appeared on her doorstep, other than how beautiful she was compared to her. She was distrusting initially, but Clarisa's personality turned out to be as beautiful, if not more beautiful than her appearance. Whether it was a connection between perceivers, or simply a connection between people, Clarisa had the power to influence her that no counsellor had before. Her influence was not instantaneous or potent, but gentle, persistent and inspiring. She made her see the lighter side of everything, and showed her how one can live on and forge ahead despite the pain they've felt in the past.
But then there was the assignment with the snakes. Clarisa had congratulated her for making an effort, but she knew she had messed up bad. The Darkness was beyond compelling and it defied everything she had learned about emotional management, pulling out her most unpleasant memories from the storage box and shoving them in front of her eyes. Since day one she had been afraid of hurting Clarisa with her fear, and from then on that had been exactly how things played out. With every surge of adrenaline things spiralled downhill. Before she knew it, those glimmering scales were tight around Clarisa's ribs...
Never mind her lack of control; Clarisa did not deserve this. She couldn't stop herself from feeling afraid, but she had to if it meant protecting Clarisa's life. Through the unperturbed demeanor and tolerant smile she could tell that Clarisa was frustrated by her. If this continued, their relationship would never progress beyond counsellor and client. She wanted to be seen as an equal to Clarisa, and most of all, she wanted her friendship. She wanted to be there for Clarisa as she had been for her, not going around endangering her life every session. As soon as her status of client was removed, she would be seen as a companion instead of a task to be accomplished, and she was determined to overcome herself to achieve just that.
Next assignment, she thought. I'll prove myself worthy on the next assignment with Clarisa, wherever it shall be.
She had no idea where the place was, but all eyes in the room were suddenly on her.
“Who is this?” Johnson said gruffly. Clarisa, whom she didn't notice was standing beside her, spoke up,
“She's a new perceiver that I'm inducting.”
“What do you think you’re doing here?” Johnson addressed her as nastily as he could manage. Kathryn glanced around the room, and all the unfamiliar faces looked as confused as she was.
“I…I don't know! Where am I?”
“Permission to be excused with Kathryn,” Clarisa said quickly. Still frowning at the unexpected interruption of his briefing, Johnson granted her request with a nod. She exited the meeting room through the door and Kathryn scurried after her. Once in privacy, Clarisa looked at her in genuine surprise,
“Kathryn, why are you here?”
Kathryn shook her head vigorously. “I didn't mean to. I was just thinking about you and there I was next to you!”
“You mean you perceived my location and teleported here by accident?”
Kathryn half-shrugged. “That sounds like the only way it could have happened.”
There was a slight shake of the head and a suppressed sigh.
"We really should work on that mental control.”
“I’m sorry,” Kathryn apologised. “I think I just interrupted something important.”
“It is important,” Clarisa affirmed, then smiled at her forgivingly. “But there are certainly more embarrassing places you could have appeared in.”
“Is this the local headquarters?” Kathryn guessed.
“Yes. I didn't intend to let you see it until later, but since you have now, I might bring you on an orientation next session,” Clarisa told her gently, “But for now I'm busy, and I’m sorry I have to go.”
Kathryn was about to say a reluctant goodbye when Leo appeared beside them with a folder. It was her first time seeing his thin yet sturdy physique and his cold, introverted gaze. She crushed on him instantly.
He faced Clarisa and spoke to her privately,
[There's three working on each assignment and we're short of one, so Johnson suggested letting Kathryn join us.]
Clarisa raised her eyebrows.
[Does he know that she hasn't finished her training?]
[I told him that, but he insisted. Said it was good practice.]
She found it an odd decision for Johnson to make. They turned to Kathryn, who had been watching them curiously, and Clarisa asked her,
“Are you keen on another assignment?”
Kathryn's eyes widened almost enthusiastically. In a way it was what she had wished for a couple of minutes ago.
“...Sure, I mean I'm pretty unoccupied at the moment.”
Her willingness took Clarisa by surprise and vanquished her prior doubts. Still, she told her,
“That's great, but I have to warn you that this assignment isn't going to be easy, and it’s not comparable to the one we did at the school.”
Kathryn hesitated. She turned to Leo,
“Will he be going?”
“Yes, and I believe he hasn't been introduced,” Clarisa smiled. “This is Leo, my friend and co-worker.”
That settled it. Kathryn held out a hand and introduced shyly,
“I'm Kathryn, and I'm Clarisa's…”
“I've seen you before,” Leo said as he shook her hand reservedly before slipping his own back into his trouser pocket. “I was incorporeal during your first meeting with Clarisa, for… security reasons.”
That was very forthright of him.
“Oh,” she said in some embarrassment. “I’ll try not to lose it this time.”
Leo opened the folder and inside was once again, a slip of paper with an assignment number and picture. It was of a scottish-style brick-made castle with a night backdrop, and it intrigued Kathryn how the Darkness was going to manifest there.
“Right at the entrance,” Leo directed them, and started the countdown from three to one.
* * *
The trio materialised just outside the huge portal of the castle. The air was strangely warm for their comfort levels, and for such a cloudy night. Clarisa tried the door but it was locked, so they teleported in. They were in a large hall, fully decorated with period furniture and exquisite carpets. It was clean; no dust had deposited on the furnishings and the chandelier lights were on.
“This place looks inhabited,” Clarisa commented.
“Then where is everyone?” said Kathryn.
“We’ll take a look around,” said Leo, “But recently the Darkness has been able to create projections of objects and people, so nothing we see can be trusted.”
Now that’s uplifting.
They walked briskly through the numerous rooms, all in perfect condition and elegantly designed. As they entered a large dining hall, Leo remembered,
“Kathryn, do you need a catalyst?”
Essential stuff.
“Yes please.”
Leo dug around in his pockets and listed, “I've got a flashlight, an umbrella, a gun…”
“The gun,” Kathryn chose. Leo looked at her rather skeptically.
“Have you ever used a gun?”
“Well… no,” Kathryn realised. Whether Leo was amused or annoyed by her she couldn't tell. He pulled out a foldable umbrella from beneath his suit and handed it to her. It was the same one that had shielded him and Clarisa from Kathryn's rain.
“Take this.”
Kathryn looked at it with some disappointment.
“Thanks…”
It took more than awhile for them to cover the whole area of the first floor. Nothing seemed unusual so far, and that was what seemed unusual. They realised that searching the rest of the castle at this rate would be a daunting task, with six more floors to go and with the Darkness hiding just about anywhere. Clarisa suggested,
“Should we split up?”
“I don't mind going on my own,” said Leo. “I'll be on the second floor.”
“Let me know if anything happens,” Clarisa called as he ascended the spiral staircase. Kathryn turned to her and asked meekly,
“Can I stay with you?”
“Of course.” Clarisa took her by the hand and they climbed up to the third floor. On it were mostly bedrooms and children's rooms, and there was still no one to be found. They entered a playroom that contained a wide variety of toys, and Kathryn stroked the stuffed animals adoringly.
“I miss having these,” she remarked. Clarisa turned to the bed where the toys sat, and smiled.
“It's best not to touch anything,” she cautioned. “Unless we have to.”
Kathryn promptly withdrew her hand from a teddy bear. “How are we supposed to discover anything unusual then?”
“Unusual greets us first.”
Kathryn shuddered.
“Do you think Leo's okay on his own?”
“He is most of the time,” Clarisa replied. “But I should be more concerned about him lately. The Darkness hasn't been going that easy on him.”
“Did I mention that he's hot?” Kathryn blurted out before she could stop herself. Clarisa cast her a surprised look, then turned away to hide her widening smile.
“I'm not quite sure how he'll take that.”
“You mean you've never told him?” Kathryn snickered. Clarisa shook her head at her disapprovingly, but was herself trying to suppress laughter.
“Kathryn, I was wondering what made you so eager to join us on this assignment.”
“Besides the fact that Leo's here?” Kathryn laughed, then shrugged. “I don't know. I guess I just want to be useful for once.”
Clarisa was about to say something encouraging when a gunshot sounded from the floor below them. Before they could react, a second one came, along with a shattering of ceramics.
Clarisa signalled to Kathryn with her eyes before heading out of the playroom to investigate. But faster than Kathryn could follow, the room door shut by itself, preventing her from exiting. She gasped and scrambled with the knob but it had locked her in. Just as she thought nothing could heighten her panic, something furry gripped her by the arm.
* * *
Clarisa found Leo on the second floor, one hand pointing his gun around the hall and the other massaging his neck. A vase on the display table had been shot to the ground and broken.
“What happened?”
“A girl,” Leo said in a pained voice, “Not a real one, tried to strangle me.”
“The Darkness?”
“Yes,” he pocketed his gun. “She moved too quickly and I couldn't get a good look at her. She's escaped.”
Clarisa frowned.
“Are you hurt?”
“No,” he said as he released the hand on his neck. “I shook her off before she could do any real damage. Where's Kathryn?”
Kathryn. Clarisa glanced around them and realised she wasn't anywhere close.
“I thought she had come down with me,” she said worriedly. “She must be in the children's playroom.”
They hurried up the stairs to the floor above, to find that the room she had been in was locked.
“How convenient. It's disabled teleportation again,” Leo grumbled when his powers failed him.
[Kathryn!] Clarisa sent telepathically as she knocked on the door. [What’s going on in there?]
Kathryn heard the message, but was too preoccupied with her predicament to respond. She was completely covered with toys- dolls, figurines, and the like. Some were biting her, others kicking at her or hurting her with their weapons. Though they were small, their strength in numbers was overpowering, and they hurt. She knew that the Darkness was attempting to remind her of her childhood, of how all of her own toys had been brutally destroyed. She tried to fling them off with her umbrella, but they only climbed up her body to attack her again. As she pursed her lips to hold in her fear, she pictured herself as Clarisa and imagined what she would have done in her place. When that didn't work, she tried to remember why she decided to come along in the first place; she wanted to be independent, she wanted to be seen as an equal, and she wanted Clarisa's friendship.
This gave her the strength to fight off the toys. They fell to the floor and turned back into lifeless playthings, leaving only the teddy bear that had attacked her first, clinging tightly onto her arm.
What can a stuffed bear do to me? she thought. With that, the bear released its grip and dropped onto the floor.
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